so there i was
winter of 1995 in sunny sunny leeds, playing, as a care-free child does, in the sunny sunny snow. Now, normal children like to build snowmen, or make snowcastles or snowangels, or throw snowballs with rocks in them at windows. But not me.

i decided it would be a fantastic idea to use all of the snow in the garden to make a gigantic (in comparison to me anyway) ramp and drive something over it. There were a few flaws in this plan which were only elucidated after it had been put into practice.

1. Snow, is not very solid
2. as such, i bulilt the ramp leaning against, and facing towards, a massive oak tree
3. i didnt have a handy bmx lying around. so i used a wheelbarrow.
4. wheelbarrows only have one wheel.
5. and its at the back.

so, i begin my runup, holding the handles like i had seen in the winter olympic bobsled, and running as fast as i could towards my little deathtrap. As i hit the ramp i dive into the wheelbarrow, which abruptly stops, flips, gets caught at 45* angle against the tree with the two rusted handles pointed up. I land with my lower lip first on one of these handles, and proceed to punch a nice hole just under it. Cue a wonderful night in LGI, where i remember i met a schoolfriend who had had done some similar *science experiment* and broken his arm.

no apologies for the length, i regret nothing.
(end, Sat 5 Feb 2005, 4:27, Reply)