Dead People Arse Rot
Being a medical student, part of our 1st year course was anatomy through disection. This involves cutting up dead people who have been preserved in formaldehyde for over a year. For this lovely task we have to purchase a 'disection kit' which has scalpels and other pokey bits for sticking in orifices. One day, after an anatomy session, i was tidying my very small room in halls which was also occupied by several people playing tekken 3 (as was the style of the time). I sat down on my bed to join in, only to stand up again very swiftly in intense pain.
Yes, i had sat on my disection kit and a scalpel had pierced my buttocks.
To make things all the more glorious, it wasn't a new blade and still had dead people goo and some suspicious grainy bits on it. This all went about an inch and a half into my arse.
It bled.
Much hilarity ensued. I had to get one of my friends to put a stitch in it but, upon the nightly jappery in good ol' Glasgow University Union, I was asked by almost everyone there if my ass was still bleeding. Which it was. I was also asked what it felt to have a dead person's 'bits' enter my arse. Hoorah!
It kind of went a bit funny and pussey after a while but has left me a really rather pathetic inch long scar on my right buttock. I still have the pants i was wearing - they have a little hole where the scalpel took my buttockular virginity. Whoop!
( MrUppity, Tue 8 Feb 2005, 19:05, Reply)