For once I did the decent thing
I didn't laugh at this guy's misfortune.

I was in a dingy underground music venue in Exeter called the Cavern. It was a mate's birthday and I was hammered.

While sat in a corner with a friend I noticed that there seemed to be more than the usual amount of smoke coming from the trousers of one punter. Further investigation revealed that he had a smouldering patch on the bottom of his jeans about the size of a 50p and rapidly expanding.

Quick as a flash I jumped up and went over to him. The conversation went like this:

Me: "Excuse me, your trousers appear to be on fire"
Him: *neanderthal grunt* (accompanied by him glaring at me as if I had deliberately set him on fire. He looked incredibly pissed off at me and didn't make any effort to extinguish the now fist-sized burning hole in his trousers)
Me: "fuck you then. Next time you can just fucking burn"

I should have stuck to my normal behaviour. Watch and laugh.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 16:55, Reply)