How unlucky can you be?
Playing football with friends back before I became a fat knacker, things used to get quite competitive and serious.

One day, out on the playing field we used to take over, we were taking a free kick fairly seriously and the goalkeeper - replete in vintage Schmeichel shirt - had arranged a defensive wall. Our star striker, Griff, was standing right up next to the wall, hoping to get into the fray if the free kick failed to clear the defenders.

Andy, the free-kick taker, placed the ball, sidled back for his run up, and picked his moment to hit it. He put all his force into a mighty, Roberto Carlos-like kick, which completely failed to get the lift required to clear the wall, and instead flew like a cannonball into Griff's bollocks. Everyone winced. It was horrible. This wasn't the moment of schadenfreude - it was just too unpleasant.

That moment came a few minutes later. Griff had wandered off the field, been sick in a hedge, and finally decided he was ready to come back on. As he was already standing at the byline and the ball had just gone out of play, it was natural that he should take the throw in. Andy ran off and retrieved the ball from the hedge, and struck it long range towards Griff, who - looking the other way talking to another player - completely failed to see it coming and took another full-on strike to the gonads, promptly keeling over at the side of the field in tears.

Oh, how we laughed...
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 11:39, 2 replies)

First class stuff, sir!
And lets face it, it's not a proper whack to the family jewels unless you throw up in a hedge afterwards. Click!
( SpankyHanky, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 11:43, closed)

If I had a penny for the amount of times I heard that story..
have a click
(Lord Chode, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 12:40, closed)