What would your parents say?
Now, I wasn't a swot, but I wasn't always in trouble either. I got on with the posh kids and the estate kids (of which, to be honest, I was one) so when I got in trouble it a bit of a surprise, but not THAT much.

So, my mate offers to sell me one of his grumble mags. We agree a price, and the next day it brings it in. Good stuff too, considering this was the days when the hardest you could buy was razzle and Fiesta.

I stick it in my bag, anticipating getting home.

Next lesson, some twat rifles through my bag, pulls out said mag and proceeds chucking it around the room between his mates. The teacher, who was a bit of an old duffer, nearly droped dead as the mag fell to the floor to reveal a centre 'spread' involving six ladies in a state of undress.

Next day, me and my mate, the twat and the teacher arrive in the year head's office for a dressing down.

"Joe, I'm surprised to see you involved in this kind of thing" (the phrase 'deviant pornography' to describe girl-on-girl sticks in my mind, but I can't remember the exact usage)

"What would your parents say if I phoned them up about this?"

"Not much, I expect, as my dad's got loads of mags like this."
The words just toppled out... honesty is the best policy or something. This was all new to me... I just panicked.

We were each given a warning. No detention. No lines. Nothing. A warning.

That lunchtime, my mate told me he'd seen the year head stifle a snigger at my remark, and that he thought this was what got us off.

To the best of my knowledge the mag was humanely destroyed.
( Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:02, Reply)