James Grimsey's Geography Fart
James Grimsey was the noisy, articulate lad with rich parents who tried a tad too hard to be one of the cool kids.

You know the type, every now and again they'd go just a little bit too far in trying to impress their peers and would end up in heaps of trouble.

I recall how one year he bought "Smelly Reid", our hygienically challenged form tutor a can of Right Guard for christmas.

He was also suspected of being behind the infamous "johnnygate" incident that had Mr Hockridge screaming in rage demanding that the owner of a flying contraceptive step forward.

The incident that is forever burned in my mind was the raucous kerfuffle I was an audible witness to, despite being in the next classrom to him at the time. Indeed, his singluar feat of swashbuckling bravery is still discussed in hushed, reverential tones by those who were present even today.

Those present at the time speak of how a bored James Grimsey simply leaned back in his chair and uttered the prophetic warning "watch this!" as he leaned forward and grasped the desk, the smile on his face never wavering while he strained as if he were delivering a foal.

Pfffffffff^ffffffffffffffffff_{fffffffffffff}fffffffffFFFFFF^{FFFFFFffffffff}fffft!"

Mr Dawson was cut off mid sentence, his mouth was trying to form words but no sound was coming out, so great was the shock. It was as if the God of Krakatoa himself has rolled over in his sleep and coughed.

For a split second there was silence, followed be peals of laughter and backslapping as James Grimsey smiled the widest of grins and sat proudly in his chair, mission accomplished and knowing his name would forever be taken in infamy.

To James Grimsey himself I can only say this:

You shat yourself didn't you, you dirty bastard?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:48, 2 replies)

Very rarely
would I consider literary excellence to take the form of a visual representation of a fart.

But that is ace.
(LickOutTheJamsMotherfuckers!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 18:19, closed)

Great stuff
Love the descriptions *click*
( chart cat has an itch, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 0:23, closed)