i had never seen two semi-adult people fight over harry potter before..
until i met Catherine.
Catherine was special,or whatever the hell you call it. She hung out in the learning thingy-type place, and she had a strong love and adoration for pikachu and harry potter. She was often to be seen wandering the school,playing Pokemon Ruby.This was 2007. For all that,she was a lovely person,as opposed to the foul,pithecantropoid gene-slurry mudfucks that were 'normal' and,distressingly,my peers.

Word got around that she had developed a strong crush on the young mister Radcliff , nee mister Potter,who she assured the world most stridently was real.

and so,sitting minding my own business on the bus,i had the tingly pleasure of watching Al,a tanned,athletic,sloped-foreheaded young fleshwaste wander up the bus,stop directly in front of her seat and announce,with moronic grin,unlit cigarette perched under a running nose and small, piggy eyes, in a voice that was heard by God almighty,
"HARRY POTTER FUCKED YOUR MOTHER."
Bam.I have never seen a person move so fast.Catherine leapt out of her seat and hit him so hard and so fast that it slowed time itself.You know that scene in Snatch where Bradd Pitt gets hit and everything slows down? Al seemed to hang in the air like a Platonic cone,and the moment still swims in my head in perfect,photographic clarity.It was beautiful....just...perfect.
everyone on the bus laughed themselves into fits,Al went to hospital with a broken jaw and nobody ever messed with Catherine again.
(Fuckpig "That's not even a pound a midget.", Fri 30 Jan 2009, 2:53, Reply)