I live in the country
and have found my high school to be full of ...shall we say...twunts.
I don't have many funny stories, and the ones I do have aren't even very funny. However - I shall elaborate on the one I posted about on the first page....

Convincing my biology teacher to set the table on fire
This was fun. The teachers at my school hate graffiti on the desks, and always keep a can of hairspray nearby to thin out the ink to wipe it off. One day my biology teacher sprayed the whole table and noticed that underneath where he was scrubbing - it was a shade lighter in colour then it had been previously.
"aaah" says I "that's because the hairspray lifts everything off but doesn't do anything to the table itself - that's probably the colour of the table the day it was new!"
"yeah I know" says the biology teacher.
"in fact" says I, an idea forming in my pyromanic teenage mind, "you could spray that whole table with hairspray and set it alight, and nothing will happen to the table! Look! I'll show you!"

At this point - my biology teacher jerks the hairspray out of my reach and says firmly,
"if anyone is going to set fire to a table in this school - its going to be ME."
and with that pulls out a cigarette lighter, sprays the whole table liberally in hairspray before lighting it.

Then realises the table was, in fact, on fire.
Then grabbing the fire blanket before the alarm went off.

I got sent to the front office and bollocked for it but my god the look of panic and fear on his face were priceless.

I'm still giggling about it.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 3:46, 1 reply)

"if anyone is going to set fire to a table in this school - its going to be ME."
Click.

That's absolutely brilliant.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:53, closed)