Three off the top of my head
1. Picture a perfect volley, slightly wide of the playground goal post hitting the RE teacher square in the face. Now as you can imagine this was quite funny in its self but add to the scene her then falling down the rest of the History block stairs and breaking her arm. In two places.

2. Best mate has been into prono big time for a few months. We're all about 13/14 and prono is where its at. Anyway, he's brought his collection in to swap for another boys collection. Cue the same RE teacher catching my mate as hes trying to gather up his 20 or so copies of the worst 80's german porn and mags the likes of escort and razzle up off the lunch room floor after dropping his bag.

3. Same Friend, sat in chemistry spends the entire hour winding up the fat kid (who wasn't actually fat at all, he was built like a shit house) As the lesson draws to a close and I wonder how i'm ever going to explain the hole all the way through my backpack where I've dropped a strip of magnesium i'd been burning under the desk the fat kid tell my mate hes going to beat him up. Hes serious this time and looks it.

Me and my mate walk out of the science block towards the canteen, the fat kid in front by a few feet. My mate suddenly walks ahead of me, pulling out an old style compas with a good inch of point at the end from his inside blazer pocket.

17 punctures in the back and neck, 1 tetnus injection.
(Tibble off the crack since, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 14:28, 4 replies)

what
a
fuc*ing
cunt!

EDIT: I bet he actually became a dibble too.. shocker!
(AndyC4m Eject Eject [><], Fri 30 Jan 2009, 14:47, closed)

yeah he was always a bit funny,
burnt a factory down with petrol out of a forklift truck that summer holiday but thats another story for another qotw.

Wanted to be a policeman when he grew up if I recall.
(Tibble off the crack since, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 15:03, closed)

I know a sad story along these lines
We had a grumpy old neighbour who used to shout at us kids whenever we played in the garden for making too much noise, got into all sorts of neighbour disputes about hedgerows, boundaries, etc. and was generally a misery-guts.

One day he died and his tearful wife explained at the wake that he hadn't always been such an old grouch and didn't always hate children.

Turns out they once had a son had been teased at school. One day he fell ill and died in hospital of septisemia (sp?). It turned out the other kids at school had been stabbing him with a pair of compasses, much like you just described. His blood had become infected and he died.

The old man never forgave the world for what those kids had done to his only son and he became a miserable shadow of his former self. He couldn't bear to hear children playing outside because it reminded him of his own loss and the cruelty children had displayed to his child.

Makes me cry just typing this :(
(synapz, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 15:12, closed)

makes me cry too
like fuck it does, funny story though! LOL, RAFLMAO!!!! Big up to you for brightening up Friday avo. Click Click click for kudos! imagine! hee hee
(little lord muthafuckin fauntleroy, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 16:16, closed)