Stand in line and don't move!!!
The primary school I attended was sort of split in two - class 1,2,3 and 4 being infants (age 4 to 7) with 5,6 and 7 being juniors (7-11).

After breaks and lunch classes would stand in line waiting to go through the only entrance from the playground and back to class. If there was constant misbehaviour, which there was on occasion, the class in question would be made to practise standing in line.

Now the scene is set I shall let my story begin:

I was in class 5, being around 8 years old, the year being roughly 1986. Someone in my class and the class below had been a bit naughty and so we had to practise standing in line. Anyone who spoke, moved or did something that the teacher observing the lines didn't like was dispatched to the Heads office.

So there we were, standing in line, being well behaved, quiet as mice, Mrs Moss stood over us waiting for the most innocent of crimes to be comitted so she could dispense her foul and cruel justice.

I did a little a trump.
Andrew laughed.
He got set to the Heads office for laughing.
I got sent up for making him laugh!!

Where the buggeryfuck is the justice in that??? I did a little squeaky trump and get sent packing!!! Mother would not be pleased so we best keep this quiet.

Eventually the HM (Mr Ainsworth) turned up and we stood in office. He asked Andrew why he laughed and he gave an honest answer. This made me do one of those silly frrrrppp type laughs which got me in more in trouble (why should I have been in trouble for farting in the 1st place???)

The result: We both got a whack across the arse with a slipper. We had the last laugh though; he hit like a girl but we pretended that it hurt anyway so as not to provoke his wrath any further.

In hindsight, I'm pretty sure this wasn't actually allowed back in '86.
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 14:49, 1 reply)

I'm curious...
Were farts funnier then, or now?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 9:54, closed)