Just remembered a funny one
when I was a gobby and nerdy little shite in year 8 - I learnt Japanese.

One day - my regular Japanese teacher wasn't there. We had Mrs V instead. Mrs V was a Literature and journalism teacher - thus she had no clue about Japanese lessons.
She had a remarkably short temper, and was highly reminiscent of Professer Umbridge from Harry Potter in that she was Short (shorter then I was/am - and that's saying something!), Fat, nasty, sugar sweet when she wanted.

Anywho - so me and my friends are all talking and laughing and basically wasting time because there was nothing else to do when she suddenly yells out
"QUIET!!!"
Silence ensues for all of three minutes before we all start talking and laughing again. Suddenly we hear:
"WHAT PART OF QUIET DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?!!?"
one of the boys pipes up with
"The 'Q'"
"GET THE HELL OUT!!!"
She was at this point, bright red, froth dribbling from her mouth, eyes deranged and bulbous. It took all of my self control not to laugh.

At this point she had been fiddling with the TV trying to get a movie on for the last fifteen minutes. She couldn't get the tv to work - so she shifted us in to the next room, where two girls had been talking with (shock horror!) their feet on the table!
"Get your feet off the table please! that's filthy!" she snapped!
At this point another boy pipes up with
"you have to do what she says now - she pulled out the P-word"
At this point, being a gobby little giggler, I lost it, and the boy who said that, myself and half the class got sent out of the class for laughing at her, whereby we promptly started laughing even harder for hours.

I think this has to be one of my few very happy memories from school.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 31 Jan 2009, 2:14, Reply)