My penis.
One of the more inexplicable urban legends* that came up during year 11 was that I had an enormous knob, giving me an unwieldy nickname "the man with the 40-foot golden schlong." And often while changing for PE, someone (usually one particular lad) would start a chant, "Woody's got a BONer! Woody's got a BONer! Woody's got a BONer!" - starting quietly, then rising in volume till everyone was shouting it. I thought it was hilarious; the teacher was usually baffled or mildly concerned.

* It wasn't a private school, so this legend was pure speculation on their part. It's not like I ever whipped it out in the playground and started swinging it around like a helicopter.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 31 Jan 2009, 18:06, Reply)