Alcohol crackdown
As anyone who's been to boarding school will know, alcohol is a serious problem/source of fun (delete as appropriate). And so it isn't unusual for school management to launch crackdowns on its consumption, sending out more vociferous messages & increasing punishments for a time. Such action was taken at my school in the early 90s.

However, we were all surprised to find it being taken quite so seriously when we came downstairs one morning to find a letter from the Headmaster pinned to the house noticeboard. It read something like:


"For the attention of all pupils.

"It has come to my attention that, despite the recent warnings about drinking alcohol whilst at school, around 80 pupils openly flaunted the no-drinking rules in front of several of my colleagues on Sunday morning. The brazen way in which they drank communion wine in the school chapel sets a bad example to all.

"In the spirit of Christianity, however, I would like to declare an amnesty. All pupils who are guilty of this offence should report to their housemaster by 5.00pm on Friday, and their punishment shall be reduced to a double detention. Those who fail to declare their guilt and are subsequently identified will be suspended as per the new rules.

"To prevent further such incidents occurring, the school chaplain has agreed that Ribena will be served at future services."


Cue a certain amount of disbelief amongst all pupils. Disbelief that was subsequently explained when it emerged that one year 9 boy had somehow managed to get hold of some headed letter paper, forged the Headmaster's signature, and then (this is my favourite bit) during one night managed to smuggle himself into all 16 boarding houses to pin this letter up before anyone awoke.

Unsurprisingly he was himself suspended, but his antics won him more kudos amongst his peers than I think the Head would have liked...
(Armour Dillow, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 17:56, Reply)