Shakespeare porn and other strangeness
We had an English teacher whose "big idea" about Othello was that Desdemona wanted to "do it with a black man". Spittle formed at the corner of his mouth as he expounded on this. He's a published author now.

Then there was the septuagenarian physics teacher called Kaboobie who lived with his mum and bred tortoises (with his mum, who knows?).

The earnest bearded art teacher who told us that art was a process "like masturbation". Not mine, pal, mine's a picture of a house.

The kindly, otherworldly RE teacher who told a baying mob of 15-year-olds that she had lesbian tendencies.

The elderly Spanish teacher who spent a whole class with his old fella hanging out of his trousers. (He retired very shortly after that.)

The headmaster caught banging a parent in a stationery (though not stationary) cupboard.

The male PE teacher nicknamed "Molly" because he liked to "mollify" unruly pupils with a cricket bat. No, I don't think he knew what the word meant either.

The hapless, flat-chested economics teacher who was hiding behind her desk when the head of department burst into the Gaza-esque eruption of the classroom to ask where the hell our teacher was.

The kid who shagged a hoover.

The kid who got a cat to lick his boabie by smearing it with fish.

The girl who was given 100% in her French oral by our sweating, stinking troll of a teacher. I hope it was worth it.

My children are being taught by the interwebs. At least all the perverts, pederasts and weirdos are behind a screen.
( calgacus Non sum qualis eram bonae sub regno Cynarae, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 14:06, 1 reply)

A process "like masturbation"?
You mean, it's a bunch of wank?
( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:42, closed)