My mate Chris
I joined my secondary school up North in the middle of year 8, And after the novelty of having a shiny southern accent had worn off I managed to merge quite effortlessly into a group of kids, not quite cool enough to be regarded uber-popular but not geeky enough to be socially outcast. (Think the in-betweeners for those that have seen it)

One person in the group was a mild mannered, highly likeable chap called Chris, he was one of these people who although highly intelligent had very little common sense and was highly gullible. As a result most of the piss takes were directed his way, and he took them, mainly because he quite frankly is. A legend.

However one day in Maths I think maybe I took it a bit far. It was towards the end of the term so it was a bit of a chilled out coursework catch up lesson which the teacher was all to happy to let us spend chatting while she did whatever teachers spend their time doing when pupils are working.

Chris had been relatively successful in his advances to a girl in the year below, securing himself a date to the local Pizza Hut the previous evening.

Now this is quite a big thing when your 14/15 and a girl across the class was eager to know more about the night. And asked in that inquisitive girly manner 'how things went'.

I still don't know why I did this but before Chris, who was a shy guy back in the day, could get his answer out. I nonchalently announced to the class that 'He couldn't get it up'

Chris went as red as a fanny with a thousand yeast infections as a few sneering laughs went round the classroom from those first set Maths kids who were humourously aware of my Euphemism.

The icing of the cake however was when the girl asked 'What I meant by that phrase' the teacher without looking up just boomed out 'He has erection problems' which caused the class to errupt in raucous laughter.

He did manage to inadvertedly get me back, even though totally by accident involving a really loud fart, a bucket chair and a perfectly executed accusing look in my direction, Which like a Rabbit in the headlights I was powerless to avoid. But I still think I had the upper hand.




Length, She never got to find out
(Peter O'Hanraha-hanrahan, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 23:46, Reply)