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This is a question School Days

"The best years of our lives," somebody lied. Tell us the funniest thing that ever happened at school.

(, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:19)
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Even the staff make mistakes....
My last school teaching job was in the junior department of a large mixed school for pupils aged from six to 18.

Before the term started I went in to sort out my classroom (I was to teach nine year olds) and get ready for the nearing onslaught of smells and noise.

As I was lugging boxes about two very fit blokes about my age appeared - did I want any help?

I fluttered my eyelashes and smiled coyly - I'd love some help!

But really I muttered, "Thanks, I'm fine" while blushing and cursing myself for looking like a mad harridan in jeans, old t-shirt and unbrushed hair.

They helped anyway and we chatted a little bit about me being new....the weather.....er....the weight of the boxes....the crap wallpaper.

It was a normal conversation for three people who didn't know each other but had seen all the pr0nmovie clich├ęs.

All the time I was hoping that we'd arrange to catch up for a drink after work or perhaps a coffee in the staff room. Maybe we could share lesson plans....

"So...um...thanks for your help. I expect I'll see you around school next week, will I?"

The dark haired one (who looked like a normal version of Tom Cruise...in fact now I come to think of it, they reminded me of the original chaps in the Dukes of Hazzard - a big blond soft looking one and a short wiry dark one) nodded shyly and said, "It's fine, no problem. We'll...um....see you around."

"Oh, um...er..."

My weren't we terribly coherent!

I carried on stumbling over words....

"Erm...so, um....what do you teach?"

The blond one blushed deep crimson. The dark one turned slightly pink.

"Oh. Ah. We...um....we...don't."

"Oh, I'm sorry, are you support staff?"

Shit...I've just asked the assistant caretaker if he works here. Bugger. Or maybe they're groundsmen. Fool.

The blond one looks ready to expire from the crimson tide washing over his face.

"Er...no...we're....erm....well....erm...sixth formers"

Oh. Fuck.

"Ah. Good thing I didn't ask you out for a drink then."

Yeah, that's it, make everyone feel worse. Well done!

I saw them again. Almost every bloody day.

They were the head boy and games captain.

(, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:50, 3 replies)
'head' boy
probably wouldn't have worked out anyway
(, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:22, closed)
/shameless self-publicity, but it seemed (in)appropriate.

Nicely done. You've made me cringe just reading my own screen.
(, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 16:06, closed)
I missed that first time round!
(, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 17:14, closed)

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