A true and not particularly funny story (for a change)
One day during class in my third or fourth year of secondary school, I was being constantly irritated throughout the lesson by a particularly annoying chap sitting next to me called William. He wasn’t doing anything at all malicious, just some general piss taking and winding up that seemed to be working remarkable well for once. As such, after about three quarters of an hour of becoming increasingly pissed off with his incessant needling I eventually cracked. Finding myself gripping my pen like a dagger, point facing downwards, I snapping out my arm and thrust the biro with quite some force straight into his face. A slight overreaction I’m sure you’ll agree, and one that I haven’t since been able to explain.

No real harm was done at all, the pen leaving nothing more than a bit of a scratch going from his right cheek over to the bridge of his nose, but alarming close to his eye all the same. I didn’t even get in any trouble for it; Partly because of luck and partly because we were sat at the back of the class, neither the teacher nor any of the other students had noticed and he didn’t say anything either. The gravity of the situation immediately hit me though, and the realisation that it could have all turned out so very, very differently has haunted me ever since. It’s surely up there amongst the stupidest things I’ve ever done and I do still occasionally wonder how differently my life might have turned out had my pen landed a mere centimetre or two higher and imbedded itself in his eyeball.

Still, at least he shut up.
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 15:27, 7 replies)

so, your story is 'i drew on someone's face with a biro'?
cool, bro.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 15:47, closed)

Lol
excellent witticism!
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 15:52, closed)

hehehe
janet: "come back and tell us about it when you've really stabbed someone in the eye"
(leviticus no longer likes the cut of your gib on, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 15:52, closed)

She's almost like Amorous Badger (who i'm sure she doesn't aspire to be), except with a vagina
allegedly, of course.
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 15:57, closed)

I punched someone on the arm, once.
They laughed.

We should start our own hard-man club.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 15:55, closed)

Oh hell yes I know what you mean
I was mucking about on the playing fields, and there were poles marking the corners of the pitch. I realised that, being six-foot poles with metal points on one end, they'd make excellent javelins. So I chucked one.

At that moment my mate, who was running parallel to my throw, for some reason changed direction - and the flying spear hit him in the face. He yelled out, clutching his eye. I remember thinking how irritating it was that all the old biddies who said "You'll have someone's eye out with that" were right, after all.

Thankfully it too glanced off his cheekbone, cutting him but doing no lasting damage. Like the OP my blood runs cold when I think how bad it could have turned out...
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 16:08, closed)

It's not different today
Just kids actually do do that with real knives.
(Monchberter Can't go wrong with Doom, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 21:56, closed)