Not really something I did, but I was the cause...
Back in 1984 I was 17 and studying for Highers (Scottish version of A-levels), at a private boarding school in Scotland. Class sizes were generally small, and there were only three of us in the class studying German. The teacher (let's call him Mr M) was not dissimilar in his manner to a mild version of Kenneth Williams. Yes, he was rather camp. He was also living with the Geography teacher. But that's not for me to judge!

Anyway... as my dad was in the British Army at the time, I was actually living in Germany, and had been since about 1973 when I was 6. So my German was generally pretty good (conversationally at least). Which, of course, made me kinda bored in German class.

So I was constantly messing about with stuff in class... paper planes, Game & Watch (remember them?), silly putty, etc. Just about every other class I'd end up having something confiscated.

Anyway, on this particular day I had in my possession a mini Rubik's cube, and a new Casio digital watch. I was messing with the watch and Mr M spotted it, sauntered over to my desk and said "Another toy? Right - hand it over!" which I did. Back he went and continued the class. Then I took out the Rubik's cube. It wasn't long before he spotted that too. He was furious by now. He STOMPED over to me, GRABBED the cube, and said in an exasperated voice :

"HONESTLY! I'm sure that if I stripped you naked and stood you on the desk, you'd STILL find something to play with!"

My two classmates pissed themselves laughing, and it slowly dawned on Mr M what he'd just said, and he turned a bright shade of pink (which really suited him).

Innuendo? Kenneth Williams eat your heart out.

Mr M was never able to look me in the eye again after that.
( calibrax loves teh hamsters (not in that way), Mon 12 Sep 2011, 14:16, 2 replies)

Hahaha, reminds me of The Inbetweeners:
"There's nothing funny about testicles, as you're going to find out in my office after school!"

:D
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 14:59, closed)

Infamy! Infamy!

(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 6:30, closed)