A 10 year project spanning various schools


Slightly tenuous but I spent most of my time at various schools where my main project on an ongoing basis was to annoy the fuck out of as many teachers as possible.

This resulted in:

Being expelled from junior school aged 7 (kicked over teachers motorbike), “withdrawn” (parents took me out just prior to expulsion) from prep school aged 10 for various crimes, being expelled from secondary school for fighting & being a disruptive smartarse, being on almost permanent suspension from 14-16 for generally taking the piss out of teachers – winding them up to the point where a couple tried to hit me (I then threatened to complain to the governors). Then on to college where I was slung out for driving a mate’s car over the football pitch (ploughing the turf up).

I then gave up on education but during this disruptive behaviour my proudest school “project” was the traditional torture of supply teachers. We had a supply teacher for geography called Mrs Pilkington. A couple of weeks after she had started teaching us I was arrested one evening (a fairly frequent occurrence by this point) by a rozzer called Sgt Pilkington. Now the rozzer starts asking me various questions including where did I go to school. “My wife teaches there – Olive Pilkington – does she teach you?”

Now then it was pure gold for an obnoxious school kid to know a teachers first name.
The only school in the county that would take me by the age of 15 was rougher than the corns on my grandma’s feet & I was in a class of 35 swedebashers & sub-normal inbreds. So it wasn’t difficult to persuade the rest of the class to participate the next time she took us for geography.

“Good morning class” she said. “Morning Olive” I shouted out, cue 30 other kids shouting out in a perfect Popeye imitation “Ug Ug Ug Ug”.

Olive then bursts in to tears & sprints out the room quicker than a clan of starved tribesmen after an antelope. Never to be seen in the school again.

Looking back I’m not particularly proud of it – particularly what this behaviour must have done to my parent’s blood pressure. It certainly wasn’t that easy trying to establish a career with only one grade c GCSE either.

However as an ongoing school project hassling teachers for around 10 years was a project I certainly devoted plenty of time to.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 12:40, 3 replies)

I don't like this.

(Scritty Bakerman., Sat 15 Aug 2009, 10:01, closed)

^^ Agree
You sound like a tool of the highest order. I hope you've grown up since school.
( gareth_alien will be human again at, Tue 18 Aug 2009, 10:46, closed)

You're correct on both counts
I have grown up. I also said in the post I'm not proud of it.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 18 Aug 2009, 13:07, closed)