I used to be in a jazz band called 'The Banned'
A theatre manager stiffed us on our fee for a christmas concert a few years ago.

We were playing a jazz medley of Christmas carols while in fancy dress. Our drummer had gotten rather excited in the costume department, and insisted on wearing a full size padded Frosty the Snowman costume, complete with giant head.

While playing the stage got very hot. The heating was on full blast, and all the stage lights were on. Halfway through the medley the drummer got dizzy with the heat and stopped playing, resting his head in his hands. The kids in the audience watched, intent, as Frosty decided to get off stage. He wobbled his way out of the kit, wove through the rest of the band, and then lost his direction and staggered stage front.

"Ohhhhhh dammmnnnn..." he said slowly, the sound muffled through the thick costume. We kept playing. Perhaps we could write this one off as an interpretative dance.

Frosty staggered stage left, and then reeled back from the curtain and, finally, fainted. Two hundred kiddies screamed as the snowman collapsed, and his head fell off and rolled... slowly... slowly... into the middle of the stage, where its cold dead coal eyes stared at them accusingly....

...but apart from that, it was a great gig. I don't see why he refused to pay us...
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 14:32, Reply)