More foam than you could possibly imagine
About three years ago we had the old office secret santa – something I had never done before. Budget was set at £7 and off we went looking for those gifts. This turned out to be a lot harder than I had initially expected. I had drawn Corrina, the office hotty. After much racking of brains I suddenly found myself in a foam shop. Yes, that’s right, FOAM. Right there on the shelves by the door were all these off cuts of foam and one piece stood out instantly – firstly because it measured about 24in. by 24in. by 6in. and secondly because the price tag was £7. Egged on by my mate I ended up buying this foam.
The weekend before we were due to hand the gifts out I suddenly realised that it was a really fucking shitty present to give someone so I quickly ran off to Poundland and picked up the following:

*Blank video
*Giant pencils
*Assorted cable ties
*Protective goggles
*One can of WD40

Okay, I know that’s only five but I can’t remember what the last two items were.

When it came time to open the gifts I couldn’t actually watch Corrina unwrap it. I hid but I did hear her screech when she got the paper off. The perfect crime I thought, but no – it turned out that everyone had been discussing who drew who so it was instantly known that I was the guilty party! Bastards!! And to make matters worse they all assumed it was supposed to be a home bondage kit!

As for the foam I actually did end up giving someone a huge bag of foam once for his birthday but this time it was lots of assorted bits in a bin bag (you can pick these up from Surrey Foam in Caterham). His face was a picture when he realised that there wasn’t actually a ‘real’ gift in the middle!!

*EDIT* Just thought I'd add that my secret santa that year was a Bob the Builder bathtime fun set. I was so pleased.
(Phelpsy Bollocks trapped behind radiator since, Tue 19 Dec 2006, 11:57, Reply)