Scousers pt II
la swipe:

That reminds me of an old job I once had in the office of a haulage firm. We had this depot in Liverpool which was a seething hotspot of tribal warfare akin in 1990s Rwanda.

Not a week went by without more than the usual amount of "Eh? Eh? Eh?"s and "Calm down!"s being uttered, but during the run up to xmas two events occurred which caused particular mirth.

1) A scouse driver was called into the MDs office and reprimanded as he's apparently been witnessed masturbating in his cab by a very valuable client. The offending driver had just celebrated his sixty fourth birthday, so we briefly suggested congratulating him instead. There was no rush to shake hands with him however.

2) After a rather fraught round of wage calculations with a "little Billy" (the above character's son in law), regarding a council tax attachment of earnings I was obliged to recover from his wages "little Billy" popped into the office. He was six foot six and built like an outdoor scouse privvy. Thankfully he was in a festive mood and shook my hand rather than killed me.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 19 Dec 2006, 17:45, Reply)