P & C.
The post below about self important police made me think...there’s another forum for releasing the inner self important prick, but it requires having kids (or being a carer of kids).

When the first of my kids started attending primary school, I got rather excited about entering the realm of parental responsibility and become involved with the P & C (Parents and Citizens) of my local school.

Basically, a bunch of parents meet regularly to organise fundraising and activites, decide how to spend funds, and chase up any obscure grants that the Government secretly issue from time to time.

I imagined a bunch of like-minded folk, all sitting around a table, having a few drinks, talking about what needs to be done, allocating tasks and well, just fucking doing it. Just like everyday work, really.

After the first couple of meetings, I soon surmised that there always seemed to be the following characters:

- One very loud "organiser" who is an anal retentive stickler for meeting protocols, but couldn't organise the proverbial in a brothel. Invariably has forgotten important paperwork. “So busy, so busy, so many things to organise, barely time to scratch myself, to many things to remember”. Always sucking on a take-away cappucino. Always having to “rush off” early. Always smells vaguely of sweat.

- One passive aggressive mega-miffed "vice president" who covets the main role, but couldn't quite get the votes, so white ants any rational debate. But, with exquisite timing, broods in silence until the meeting is almost over, then theatrically announces “err....that’s a lovely idea in principle, but the Sensible thing to do would be blah blah blah, but, if you want to be the responsible party for approving a debacle, go right ahead Mrs President, just don’t come running to me later....”.

- One older “too cool for school” character who loudly sighs and snorts derisively at any suggestions, yet contributes nothing, except a scathing assessment on the quality of education “these days”, oh, and the quality of biscuits on offer at the meeting.

- One Earth Mother who makes the most absurd unrealistic suggestions and dissolves in a flood of tears when everyone rejects her ideas, as they are obviously inspired by a soft drug habit (wishing well in the playground? Yeah, of course. Kids will learn to deal with life by flinging pocket money into a fountain. Heal Your Chakra stall at the fete? Fuck yeah! So many broken Chakra’s around these days, it’s a wonder we have any earth spirit left at all! )

- One quasi-lawyer know-all who hoses down any remotely different ideas, citing “Duty of Care”. Well, let’s consider the risks, take appropriate measures, and do it safely. No, no, nothing is “safe” nowadays, we have a “Duty of Care”, you see. Well, I’m not fucking proposing cage fighting for the under 6’s, it’s just apple dunking ffs.

Some people relish the chance to release their frustrated business mogul ambitions on the smallest of possible stages.

Highly entertaining, and time after time the usual background supporting cast to these personalities organise all the stuff and make it all happen.
( Ken Oath, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 12:41, 10 replies)

Hang on, I forgot one,
The silent, but sarcastic B3TAN in the corner.
( Ken Oath, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 13:33, closed)

You also missed the
"Self-important, self aggrandising b3tan who only went along for a laugh but got press-ganged into being VP, and likes the sound of his own voice using big words."

Gotta love a democracy, right?
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Mon 28 Jan 2013, 21:40, closed)

I wriggled out of that one. Saw it coming a mile away, and knew it was a poisoned chalice.
Happy to be a helpful dogsbody mind you, just really don't want to get too involved with the political stuff. Like arguing with the Earth Mother about the "morality" of selling chocolates to raise funds. Chocolate is evil you know. Better to sell fruit (ffs).
( Ken Oath, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 3:33, closed)

So you're
not interested in this box of Freddo's I've got here.

There's caramellos and the honeycomb ones...
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 29 Jan 2013, 11:06, closed)

'Duty of care' is almost as abused as 'time is of the essence'
by armchair lawyers.

They're both narrowly defined legal terms, which are rarely correctly cited.

Next time ask him if he's applying the Carparo test.
(username failed moderation, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 14:10, closed)

Ahem
Caparo test, FFS.

/pedant.

Also, /law degree.
(all my scars face forward possesses 2.5% of a hyperalloy combat chassis, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 21:02, closed)

Well, it wasn't a bad guess.
/chartered arbitrator.
(username failed moderation, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:39, closed)

Just realised how
self important our last two posts were.
(username failed moderation, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 9:40, closed)

The only reason parent councils are there
is to give irate people a place to vent where school administrators can't hear them.
"You have a problem with the education of your child? Here, join the parent council and sell overpriced inedible chocolate bars."
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 14:53, closed)

At our last meeting last year
we enjoyed blowing almost AU$20,000 of our budget.
On stuff for the school and the kids that go there.
Mostly stuff that the school couldn't afford out of it's budget from the Ed. Dept.

Would you like to buy a Freddo?
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Mon 28 Jan 2013, 21:17, closed)