Death slide
summer '83. hot, sunny and a day out in blackpool. as it was so hot and we were planning to go swimming, i decided to wear my swimming costume in an effort to stay cool.
now, back then, you didn't go to the fair without going to the funhouse. if you went to the funhouse, you had to go on the death slide.
i loved the death slide.
sadly, i did not consider the effects of sliding down a wooden slide at a shockingly steep angle, at speed, wearing a swimming costume.
the effects were that my costume immediately wedged itself into my arse crack, leaving my bare cheeks to skid(fnar) down the slide, getting extremely hot and pretty much taking the skin off. to stop this, i tried to stand up and run.
this did not go well.
i tumbled headlong down the slide, crashing into the side and breaking my toe. much pain,massive embarrassment and a backside like a baboon. not exactly the perfect end to the day. i didn't even get to go swimming!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 30 Nov 2013, 14:33, 3 replies)

I've heard that Blackpool is the Biarritz of Lancashire
according to Britons that have never been abroad.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Sun 1 Dec 2013, 0:32, closed)

why would anyone want to go abroad?
Too hot, funny dago food and awful swarthy foreign types leering at t' missus. Can't even get a decent cup of tea, that's what I heard.
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Sun 1 Dec 2013, 13:01, closed)

we only ever go for daytrips, really
i prefer spain, but bruges is nice and smells of chocolate
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 1 Dec 2013, 14:39, closed)