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This is a question Self-Inflicted injuries

Spanishfly asks: Ever injured yourself in a moment of frustration? When have you ever done something stupid or sensible that has ended up with you injured? Punched an Asda sign because they didn't have tiger bread? Yeah, us too

This isn't a question about intentional self-harm

(, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 13:06)
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Middle class cheese related injury
I had a parmesan knife. It's like a little stubby dagger, with a rounded wooden handle. Like this: goo.gl/jzTqNA

I'd started the week by buying a bunch of delicious salad ingredients with my meagre wage packet: nice leaves, asparagus, parma ham, lovely posh herbs and so on. Can't remember the reason for the extravagance, think I'd done something good at work and I seem to recall I was celebrating.

I'd had a couple of beers after work and then opened the wine as soon as I got home as I started to cook. The salad looked amazing. Absolutely incredible. Sitting there, glistening, all prepared, just in need of the finishing touch: some flakes of parmesan, and then I could tuck in.

You're meant to use these a parmesan knife a bit like one of those rounded potato peelers: you hold the cheese in one hand and gently cradle the knife handle in the fingers of your your other hand, scraping off some lovely wibbly flakes of cheese, guiding the blade by pushing it sideways with your thumb. I knew this, but I was feeling buouyed about life, and so, so hungry. So instead, I held the cheese loosely in one hand, grabbed the knife, daggerishly, in the other, and began to enthusiastically strike the blade against the cheese like one would a flint against a firesteel.

Naturally I removed much of the skin on my topmost knuckles, together with a small amount of parmesan, all into my plate.

Given the expense I still ate the salad, wearing the "got no plasters" emergency mitten, made out of kitchen roll, on my left hand. Occasionally pausing to pick out bits of cuticle and fingernail from my dinner.
(, Sat 30 Nov 2013, 23:32, 3 replies)

But was it still delicious?
(, Sun 1 Dec 2013, 8:59, closed)
Yeah. If you talk about 'nice leaves' and 'posh' herbs then you're not middle class.
You just watch too much wanky wannabe food television.
(, Sun 1 Dec 2013, 10:49, closed)
The end of my pointy finger on my left hand
ended up in a drunken egg & lettuce sandwich.
I like to think it got eaten, but I can't be sure.
Still, it got me out if doing the washing up for over two weeks...
(, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 10:26, closed)

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