The ousgg gender-domestic animal binary metaphor
Men are dogs. Women are cats.

Men are idiotically faithful, adoring, well-intentioned and enthusiastic. OK, they're sometimes a bit smelly, dribble while they sleep and make a godawful mess while eating, but you'd always be happy to introduce one to your best friend or parents in the knowledge that you could take one away again.

Women are dainty, fastidious, picky and stubborn. They will do whatever pleases them and not an ounce more. You wouldn't trust one out of your sight for more than ten minutes. They will come and cuddle you when it suits them, and happily ignore you if there's something more interesting elsewhere.

Men are dogs. Women are cats.

A man who has indulged in Jackass-style tomfoolery or slept with a string of women is referred to as a 'sly dog' with affection by his friends. A woman who has delivered a tongue-lashing to a man will, in shrieking tones and laughter, be called 'catty'.

The opposite applies. A woman described as a 'bitch' clearly deserves all she's getting. A man described as a 'pussy' generally isn't worthy of the masculine race.

Men are dogs. Women are cats.

Men go out in packs to enjoy shooting, fishing, swimming and sports in general. They are happy to express themselves with shouting and tussling that may look vicious or violent to others, but in actuality is only a playing ritual. They will unquestioningly drink any beer that is put under their nose and happily piss in the high street afterwards.

Women prefer to curl up in comfort and while away time. They treat new challenges and experiences with suspicion and distrust and are not hesitant to hiss and lash out when outside of their comfort zone. They treat any food or drink put in front of them with a critical eye and are not afraid to leave it. They do NOT piss in the high street.

Men are dogs. Women are cats.

A smaller man, confronting a bigger one, will make no issue of size. In their minds, every man is equal - we have all seen ferocious little five-foot men take a bottle to the face without wincing as much as we have seen a great jessie of a bloke get kicked in the knee and claim a war wound while retiring to the smoking garden. At the end of the day, they will accept their differences and happily lick over each others wounds.

All women, when confronting others, are automatically jealous and will assume the other is better. They will circle each other, often for hours on end, trading verbals and killer glares. Even when allegedly 'friends', there will be frequent spats and arguments over mates, food and space.

Men are dogs. Women are cats. I am sexist, presumably.
( ousgg is not seeking approval, Mon 28 Dec 2009, 12:56, 6 replies)

That will explain
why women keep coming into my garden and shitting in the flowerbeds.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 28 Dec 2009, 13:05, closed)

Photos or it didn't happen
You could get good money from the Japanese for material like that.
( ousgg is not seeking approval, Mon 28 Dec 2009, 13:30, closed)

Cats and Dogs aside...
Does this mean I'm actually a woman?
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 28 Dec 2009, 14:15, closed)

well...
You are a bird...
(442, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 9:18, closed)

Walked straight into that one, didn't I?

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 13:52, closed)

At least you didn't
fly into a shiny, shiny window.
(IChewCandlewax, Wed 30 Dec 2009, 11:57, closed)