Ashley! Ashley!!!
I know this isn't exactly an answer to the actual Q in this QOTW, but since when has that stopped anyone? Anyway, it's not far off......

I once supplied equipment, staging, PA etc for an International Women's Day event, which was held in a shopping centre (where else?), taking care of the tech duties myself.

It was an easy gig, going smoothly, no stress. I can't recall most of what was going on, women's stuff, I guess, but for some reason they had got a "Celebrity" to address the masses. This celeb was a well-known figure from a popular soap opera, I SAY soap opera. (And if you haven't worked it out from the title or that clue, well, tough)

He was obviously "well refreshed", which is not a good omen at 11am, and after letting me give him the standard pep talk (ie. "speak INTO the mic and don't wander in front of the speakers" etc) he promptly took the mic and told the woman who introduced him, an old biddy in a body stocking (no hint of flesh, thank God) pretending to be Lady Godiva, that she had a lovely pair of tits. I did nothing, I couldn't believe it, I froze at the mixing desk. Did he just say that out loud? The organiser, a woman with a bushier moustache than mine, dropped her clipboard, I could see her in my peripheral vision, open mouthed and wide eyed. That'll be a "yes" then, he fucking said it.

He then strode out in front of the sea of women, and I can say that I think he and I were the only men in the immediate vicinity, and asked what they were all doing there, why the fuck weren't they at home doing the washing? I say "asked", it was more a snarl.

Now at that point, I laughed, I'll confess to that, but it was purely a nervous laugh, stemming from the fact I could see the whole show going down the drain. The organiser is frantically drawing her hand across her throat, mouthing for me to kill his mic, FFS.
He fired off a couple more old Les Dawson gags before I managed to regain control of my limbs and cut the mic, whereupon Fre....um, the man, was led off stage.
I would swear in court that I have seen genuine Tumbleweed blow through a shopping centre in the West Midlands, there was absolute silence. Apart from me, giggling, like, well, like a schoolgirl, obviously.

Strangely enough, we weren't invited back the next year.
(Rsoles, Wed 30 Dec 2009, 20:15, 3 replies)

Hahahahahaha
brilliant! I say, brilliant!
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 9:29, closed)

Probably
ironically, he was gay.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 18:11, closed)

This was
before it became public knowledge that he liked inviting young men in gay bars back to his flat to "discuss theatre" (and getting knifed after doing so). Not that it has any relevance to the story though.....
(Rsoles, Fri 1 Jan 2010, 14:32, closed)