Mental
Women are mental, and most will admit that. I've learnt this so far:

Women have no idea what they want. So chaps, make a decision - it doesnt really matter what, just make it. They'll generally forgive the bad ones, and everybody learns.

Women dont want you to fix their problems. They want you to listen. When she's banging on about a shit day of work, she doesnt actually need to you offer to go round to twat Tim in Accounts because he rejected her purchase order request. She just wants you listen, nod a bit and feel a bit sympathetic.

They need to talk a lot. It's mostly not for you, it's for them. Listen to the key points, and tolerate the rest. It might help you one day so pay attention if it sounds serious.

You can win thousands of brownie points with one tiny trick. If youre going out with the lads or anywhere without her, and you're planning to be back by say 11, tell her 12. That way when you get in at 11, you look great.

Spraying some polish near the front door an hour or so before before she comes home will make her think you've been cleaning.

explain to her that men need a "shed" - somewhere to hideout occasionally. This could be half an hour behind a newspaper. But just explain what youre doing first.

Dont go shopping with women. Ever.

Wear sunscreen.

If youre young, those silly wooly hats make you look like a cunt. They look good on David Beckham, no one else.

Trousers half way down the arse? You. Will. Never. Have. Sex.

That is all.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Sun 3 Jan 2010, 23:04, 1 reply)

You
are a VERY wise person. But you obviously know that because you are so wise.

Those tips will be useful to many people.

Nice one :)
(Chairman Lmao Something something your mum, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 0:55, closed)