Why I hate the Bee Gees....
As a sixth former I was in a relatively long, stable relationship with my first serious girlfriend. She was great fun, pretty and we had a great sex life, often running the mile or so home from school for sex before my parents got home, romantic I know.

One of her friends was blonde, very attractive and slightly odd which added to the intrigue. Since the age of 13 the blonde girl....let's call her Helen, was very flirty towards me but we never got together. As soon as my girlfriend and I started dating, Helen's flirting became more and more overt.

Eventually Helen gave me an ultimatum, if we didn't start seeing each other she would kill herself......as I type this I can't believe how ridiculous this sounds but to a rampant 17 year old boy the warning bells didn't disturb the thoughts of rampant sex. Round about this time the Bee Gees released an album with Barbara Striesand and Helen would sing lyrics like "I am a woman in love, and I'll do anything to get you into my world..." or "We have nothing to be guilty of..." whenever we passed in the school corridor.

Eventually as a morally weak male I bowed to pressure, broke up with my distraught girlfriend and started seeing Helen. From the first minute of our first date she changed from being overtly sexual to coy and shy.Worse was to come, the first time we had sex ...erm how can I put this delicately.... apart from being frigid she was cold ...internally, a bizarre sensation and something I had not experienced before or since.

We went out for a few weeks but my heart was never in it amongst many other things. Eventually I left Helen and stayed single for a while.

I eventually apologised to my girlfriend, as soon as she could bear to be in the same room as me and we came really great friends, more like brother and sister. Well brother and sister from King's Lynn because we stared shagging again.

That was 30 years ago, I'm now married, faithful and recently re-established contact with my original girlfriend and we can laugh about what happened in our teens.

As for Helen...... haven't seen her for 30 years and every time I hear the Bee Gees and Barbara Striesand I reduce the radio to its constituent molecules with a claw hammer.
(Barnetboy, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 16:02, 3 replies)

I have the same reaction every time
I hear the BeeGees and I've never met Helen.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Thu 8 Dec 2011, 16:33, closed)

Every day...
Give thanks and praise to the Lord that you haven't.
(Barnetboy, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 16:41, closed)

nice punchline
click
(justin(e), Tue 13 Dec 2011, 15:29, closed)