1 tequila 2 tequila
While at Uni my mate won £100 on the fruit machine. We did the only sensible thing with an unexpected lump sum. Blow the lot on drink & drugs.

We bought some pot smoked a few doobs then went to the uni bar to get shitfaced. After several pints we decided to do a stupid amount of tequila slammers. After about 6 I decided that I really didn't want to throw up so I took a breather. Holding on to the bar I turned around to blearily look around. I caught the eye of a very cute girl standing near by. To my amazment she smiled and wandered over to where me & my mate were standing (ok wobbling) "Hi I'm feeling dirty, fancy a blow job?" she said

I boggled at her my drunk brain processed what she said but kept rejecting it as unlikely. After a long pause "Shorry Im bit pished what did shu shay?"
"never mind" she said, winked and wandered off to no doubt felate someone who wasn't a pissed up idiot
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 13:41, 4 replies)

Even if you had managed to parse the sentence
You would have
a) not managed to get it up
b) fallen asleep half way through
b) thrown up over her head
c) been completely anaesthetised and unable to feel a damn thing
e) all of the above (not necessarily in that order)
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 14:22, closed)

yes that was part of the regret
Why didn't she speak to me before the evil cactus juice...why?!
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 14:57, closed)

You said "doobs".

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 14:43, closed)

Dog boobs?

(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Wed 14 Dec 2011, 15:12, closed)