A nonce laden pea (which old have been much worse)

The greatest entertainer of all time - on holiday

When I was a little fella of about 7, I, with a bunch of young mates saw Rolf Harris in the General Store on Rottenest Island, just off the coast from Perth.

Now many of you may not know (probably because you are in such awe of his true entertaining genius) that before being famous Rolf used to be a camera man for a Perth television station in the early days of Australian TV. I know this because my mum was an amateur actor who appeared several times on TV in Perth in it's early days and none other than the Big R Harris was the camera man.

Pea edit - he did not nonce upon her - as far as we know....

Anyway, I felt that it was my duty to rush up to Rolfy boy with half a dozen 7 year olds in tow and tell him that he knew my mum. I could tell he wasn't really that interested when he replied at full volume (to children mind you)

"OH fuck off you little cunts, I am trying to have a quiet weekend with my family!" - I swear it is true.

I was horrified, I was mortified, I was angry. How dare this legend of the didgeridoo, the wobble board, kangaroo molesting and three legged pedophiles who KNEW MY MUM, be so rude to me.

Now for those who are not familiar with Rottenest Island, there are no cars, the only transport is push bikes or walking. My mates and I decided that the only real course of action was to follow old Rolf home with his shopping and stand across the street from his holiday cabin and shout intelligent abuse at him such as "Hey Rolf you are a stinky poo bum" and lob sand bombs onto his roof.

And do you know what the bearded fucker did?

He called the fucking cops................ on 7 year olds.

Pea edit - in hind sight, a very restrained action to take against kids by this chap.

I must admit the young constable did look a little bemused when he arrived to this hardened gang of criminal 7 year olds, and clearly fearing for his safety decided not to enact an arrest but, suggested,

"I know Mr Harris can be a bit of cranky old man but, you have had your fun now, so its time to leave him in peace".

Which we did, and begged the cop to give us a ride in his paddy wagon, which he didn't.

THE CUNT!
(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:09, 15 replies)

something about a cunt on the last line

( rofl harris, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:12, closed)

A match to your birth certificate then.....

(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:18, closed)

I have a stinking hangover
Seem unable to read more than three lines
( rofl harris, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:36, closed)

So the cops are allowed cars?

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:15, closed)

They are
Good paying of attention. Gold Star.
(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:17, closed)

Why are there no cars apart from the police cars?
I prefer a brown star.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:19, closed)

Class A Eco Reserve
And tradition.

It is really an excellent place - I recommend a visit if you are ever in that part of the world.

And

The cops have a car to cart off drunks from the pub who over do things

Yes a pub, and no cars - quite a good formula really
(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:22, closed)

Who needs cars, one simply harnesses the nearest kangaroo and rides that furry cunt til he drops.
( Ken Oath, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:22, closed)

Naaah.
They've all been tied down, Sport.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:23, closed)

Ha ha. Well played.
( Ken Oath, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:24, closed)

Nice, topical too

(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:24, closed)

Rottnest mate
Harnesses the nearest quoka
(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:24, closed)

The one time I went to Rottnest, I saw some bloke get "deported" for kicking a Quokka.
( Ken Oath, Wed 20 Aug 2014, 15:27, closed)

Fake
1) Rottenest is spelt 'Rottnest'.
I read this whole post with an Italian accent. Obviously never been.

2) The word 'fuck' was not invented until the late 1970's. If it had been used on a 7y.o. boy you couldn't have the difference between that and zumpthwack.
(justin(e), Thu 21 Aug 2014, 13:06, closed)