Never, ever assume your mate has gone home
Picture the scene:
A few mates have gone on holiday to Budapest for a couple of days, the night before we'd watched Liverpool win in the champs league (typical brits but it was our one failing).
On this holiday were the 3 Muskateers:
Myself - recently single and on a bit of a bender
A - (Name obscured to protect him) A single lad about town who will shag anything, animal, vegetable or mineral.
T - Another friend who is in a happy, stable relationship so as a result is staying in a few nights.

Scene now set, it's the night after the Liverpool match and T is staying in. A and I have decided to check ou one of the bars in Buda that was recommended in the lonely planet called Szoda (great place, recommend it if you ever go there)

We're having a great laugh, the beer is flowing and we are playing shithead (again). As the evening goes on the we get chatting to a couple of English lads and some Danes. The beer is still flowing, prompting many trip to the loo, problem is that the toilet secreted away somewhere, it was like the crystal fucking maze to find it.

Here's where it gets interesting, we're all chatting away and the next thing I know is that A has transmogrified into a pile of puke (in the ashtray and everything) and has left his jacket, he must have gone back cos he's too pissed thinks I, so we head off to the 24 hour bar and enjoy the night.

I am then told the story of what happened to A, it appears that no, he didn't go home when he was sick, he decided that he should go the toilet

Where he fell asleep. On the toilet. Without lifting the seat up or taking his keks down. And prompted to shit himself.

A awoke at 4AM in the crystal maze toilet in pitch black covered in shite. He managed to wake the owner of the bar and nearly got a beating for it but escaped by proving that all English are dozy retards when drunk.

Headed back to the room in the hostel with his godawful smell and as he enters the door T wakes up, takes a sniff and asks in all sincerity
'Have you just shit?'

When I was regaled with this story the next morning and seeing the expression of shame and disgust on A's face I couldn't help but laugh at T's comment, it was fucking hilarious, thankfully A saw the funny side so we went out and got trollied again!

Good times and apologies for length but it fucking stunk!
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Thu 27 Mar 2008, 18:19, Reply)