Shit Shop
A few years ago i started a new job as assistant manager of a charity shop.
After a few days of working there a scruffy old man who had shit himself came into the shop looking for a clean pair of pants. He looked at the trousers and left (no doubt the pants i was selling were too expensive).
During his brief visit the shit in his pants had poured from his trouser legs and covered my carpet from the door to the back of the shop.
The smell was utterly vile. I was nearly sick, customers were nearly sick and the vounteer manning the till ran upstairs to get away from the smell.
I had to close and we cleaned up.
When the floor was back to normal and the shop smelling freh, we reopened.
Unfortunatly for us Mr Shitty Pants had dumped a load on the street outside and customers just brought it all in on their shoes. Once again we had to shut and clean the carpet.
We stayed shut for the rest of the afternoon.

About a year later we had a refit. The shop looked great. The old carpet had been replaced with a new linoleum type flooring and on our first day of reopening we joked that it would be much easier to clean up diarrhoea off that than carpet.

We shouln't have tempted fate.

Later that same day a woman who it turned out had shit herself had come in the shop and bought a new clean skirt.
The woman managed to walk passed the changing room and decided to get changed in my office.
She left a pile of crap for me to clean up on the only bit of carpet left downstairs.
After heaving a few times while cleaning up and a couple of fags in the back street the woman came back in and asked the volunteer on the till if she had left her shopping in the shop!

Although it may sound like it does, this sort of thing doesn't happen very often.
(oh globbits love is always over in the morning, Thu 27 Mar 2008, 20:26, Reply)