Seafood?
Mrs. Sanityclause & I went out for a fantastic meal last week at a fish restaurant. Unsure which of the menu items looked most tempting, we decided to share a selection platter. The food was incredible: huge fresh scallops, giant king prawns, oysters, mussels, langoustines and a lobster that I suspect may have been conscious only a few minutes earlier.

I'm not sure what it does to your bowels. That night we woke each other up several times by the sheer noxious power of our own farts. The utter offensiveness of the smells we involuntarily created necessitated not only the usual duvet flapping and breath-holding but, at more than one point, her opening the window wide while I flapped the door open and closed in order to aerate the room.

The following morning her phrase "I'd give it a minute before you go in there" became woefully inadequate. It was only after a full 15 minutes (!) that the vapours in the bathroom became just about tolerable enough for me to go and egest my own consignment of pollutant. Despite all the old sayings about one not minding the smell of one's own shit, I don't think I've ever been happier to get away from mine.
( sanityclause is waiting until, Thu 27 Mar 2008, 21:53, Reply)