Stage Fright
I like a poo, me. But sometimes the whole ruddy experience is ruined.

Like a lot of you, I like to do my do’s at work. We’ve three traps. I always go in the one alongside the furthest wall. Ensuring the door is locked behind me, I lay three lengths of soft, white toilet roll on to the seat (it is a shared loo, after all), and carefully lower my rear end on to the cold seat. The cold sensation makes me flinch a little bit, but soon dissipates as my body heat transfers. I then take my paper, open it to the culture section, and I’m prepared.

Open all valves! Periscope depth, Mr. Pulu! Flood the tubes! Fire at will!

But wait! What’s this? Some bastard has interrupted my loo time. I can’t go now. I’ll have to wait it out. But they’re taking too long. If I sit here any longer, people on my desk are going to know what I’ve been doing. So I pull up my jeans, put the paper away, flush the loo and get the hell out of dodge.

I go through this perhaps twice a day. Why is it I can’t poo with someone else in the near vicinity? Is it just me that suffers from this, and is it just me that feels completely affronted by the whole situation?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 28 Mar 2008, 10:51, 1 reply)

top tip
It doesn't do one's bowels much good to hang on. If I am forced to have a poo in a public loo, I flush as the poo is 2/3 out, hopefully coinciding flush peak with spladoosh of poo. Practice at home first though, as timing is crucial.

Poo is rude and funny.
Sometime it is food gone runny :o/
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Sun 30 Mar 2008, 3:13, closed)