Shit Stories: Part Number Two
As a regular service to our readers, we've been re-opening old questions.
Once again, we want to hear your stories of shit, poo and number twos. Go on - be filthier than last time.
( , Thu 27 Mar 2008, 14:57)
As a regular service to our readers, we've been re-opening old questions.
Once again, we want to hear your stories of shit, poo and number twos. Go on - be filthier than last time.
( , Thu 27 Mar 2008, 14:57)
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I grew up in Hull...
...if thats not enough. My school had a big problem with graffiti and toilets being destroyed on a regular basis, which led to the head teacher locking ALL the bogs. This meant that every time you had to lay a cable you had to ask the lesson teacher, then go to the deputy-head, get key, shit, return key, return to class to be jeered at for having a crap (even if you only had a wazz). Like most kids I wanted to survive school without being named bab-man etc... One morning just after assembley I needed a turd BIGTIME but decided to wait till lunch, go home and let the lads out there. Complications arose and I found myself having to stay at school, turd DENIED!!!
I somehow managed to turtlehead my way to the end of the school day and left like a shot at 15:30. Making my way home looking like one of those Fast Walking atheletes in the Olympics. I made it to about half a mile from home when the beast broke down the doors. A very solid and warm, Mars-bar sized, item had arrived in my pants. I was wearing boxers at the time and was able to do the jiggle and flick to get it down my trouser-leg and away. The rest of the way home was a battle to keep the poo-Malteesers from getting lodged in my shoes.
Boxers were ruined, soon discarded into the wheeliebin and a shower was in order to deal with my shit caked arse and right leg.
Sorry about the length, at least it wasn't runny...
( , Fri 28 Mar 2008, 19:09, Reply)
...if thats not enough. My school had a big problem with graffiti and toilets being destroyed on a regular basis, which led to the head teacher locking ALL the bogs. This meant that every time you had to lay a cable you had to ask the lesson teacher, then go to the deputy-head, get key, shit, return key, return to class to be jeered at for having a crap (even if you only had a wazz). Like most kids I wanted to survive school without being named bab-man etc... One morning just after assembley I needed a turd BIGTIME but decided to wait till lunch, go home and let the lads out there. Complications arose and I found myself having to stay at school, turd DENIED!!!
I somehow managed to turtlehead my way to the end of the school day and left like a shot at 15:30. Making my way home looking like one of those Fast Walking atheletes in the Olympics. I made it to about half a mile from home when the beast broke down the doors. A very solid and warm, Mars-bar sized, item had arrived in my pants. I was wearing boxers at the time and was able to do the jiggle and flick to get it down my trouser-leg and away. The rest of the way home was a battle to keep the poo-Malteesers from getting lodged in my shoes.
Boxers were ruined, soon discarded into the wheeliebin and a shower was in order to deal with my shit caked arse and right leg.
Sorry about the length, at least it wasn't runny...
( , Fri 28 Mar 2008, 19:09, Reply)
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