Piles of Shite
So technically not mine but my friends, although I bore witness to the beginning. Anyway, a few mates had scored a house in inner Melbourne, one of those old joints with an antique outhouse. So bathroom fun took place far away from the living area. My mates were the typical 18yr old home leavers, dirty, drugged and not caring too much about hygeine. So it happens that after a huge turd in the crumbling toilet, it blocks, and said depositor thinks that a few drunken pisses will break up the dreadnought and hence make the faecal problem wash away. But no, the shite was of such thickness it refused to budge and so the 4 mates continued their daily offerings knowing full well that the ever growing, and stinking pile in their loo was getting out of control. Fast forward a week or two and the guys are getting nervous, the rim of the bowl has been breached and a cone of waste is peeking out from the armitage shanks like some degenerate trophy. So instead of rectifying the situation the boys take to shitting into plastic shopping bags in their room and then depositing them in the bin. Apparently cleaning wasn't an option. Fast forward another couple of weeks and some friends dropped in to do a bit of acid and drink. one went to ask for the bathroom and was met with furtive, nervous glances and a nod when the outdoor commode was mentioned. Cut to a drunk, tripping bogan/chav being presented with a rancid pile of shit & piss over reaching the rim of the seat, henceforth it was decorated with an icing of spew and written down in the history books of the lowest point of bachelor living. A few days later the plumber was called in and took one look at said foulness and told the occupants, clear that fuckin mess out of there and I will consider it. So a couple of shovels and a very smelly garbage night ensued and the poo factory was no more.... Hate to be the bin men that day.
(neighbour of the beast 668 has watched you in secret on, Sun 30 Mar 2008, 10:53, Reply)