For weeks on end
I've had nothing but the odd depressing tale for the QOTW.... this week? I have millions of the buggers.

I never realised my life was so bottom oriented until now....

Anyway.

You'll have to take my Dad's word for this one, as I have no memory of it. Billions of years ago, I was 2. I was a normal 2 year old, running around doing what toddlers do. However, my Dad noticed that frequently during my wanderings, I would go a strange shade of purple and run off and sit on the stairs. Why I was doing this, he did not know.

It took him a week of taking me to the toilet to work out that I hadn't taken a dump for a considerable amount of time. He checked that I hadn't done one while with my mum, and realised the strange truth.

I had developed a fear of doing the business for some reason, and each and every time I felt the now familiar feeling of needing to go, I ran and sat down on the stairs to hold it in. Slow but steady, like columbo, my Dad worked out his next move.

He watched me for ages, then when he saw me run to the stairs, he caught me and forced me to stand up. Apparently, I was screaming like a banshee as the seat of my little corduroy trousers bulged outwards and I almost became the first toddler ever to produce a full size replica of himself. I had, not to put it too bluntly, burst my arse wide open.

I was a bright kid though. I never held it in like that again.
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Sun 30 Mar 2008, 15:49, 1 reply)

Aww, bless.
My nephew became very good at head stands, seeming to develop a natural awareness of the use of gravity for much the same reason that you sat down.
(singingringingtree Living in the past., Sun 30 Mar 2008, 17:51, closed)