Pooping by numbers
When I was sixteen I was assigned the task of babysitting my cousins: 7-year-old Alexandra and 5-year-old Jacob. Things went swimmingly; we ordered pizza, watched a movie, and had a nice little dance party. During dinner, Alex asked me if I could eventually help her with her math problems. Basically, I just had to be like "1 plus 1 is...?" So, throughout the night, I would toss out random addition and subtraction problems.

Finally, the night ended in watching TV in their parents' bedroom. The bedroom has its own bathroom, so when Alex got up to go potty, I didn't think anything of it.
10 minutes later, she was still in the bathroom. So, being a good babysitter, I went to check on her. My plan was just to call from the other side of the door, but Alex summoned me in.

When I got in, she was in the midst of taking a poop - which was fine, because she was old enough to take care of it herself. What makes this story worth telling is what Alex said next:

"Julia, can you give me some math problems while I poop?"

So, I stood there for five minutes in an increasingly stinky bathroom spouting off equations as Alex grunted through the answers.

Then, it turns out, Alex decided to regress to a younger self and I HAD TO WIPE HER BUTT. Talk about adding insult to awkward injury...

This is why I did not babysit much in my teen years.
(juliajuliajulia, Sun 30 Mar 2008, 17:54, Reply)