FFC
Or Fecal Fat Collection to you, sir.

If they are testing for fecal fat, it's usually for a reason. Fatty stools produce some of the most ungodly, foul, gut wrenching, diabolically gag-inducing stenches known to man. I routinely apply maggots to wounds and it doesn't bother me, but fecal fat? Please God, no no, if you love me, no!

For the FFC test, the nurse is given what looks like an empty paint can and a plastic Flying Nun hat. The hat goes upside down in the toilet to catch the patient's crap. Every single time he curls one out, the nurse has to come in, pry the top off the paint can (which involves hugging it to your body. There's no other way, I've tried) and somehow shovel the shit into the damn thing to store it. Shovel not included. We have to regularly expose ourselves to this utter miasma of plague fumes for:

seventy two hours
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Mon 31 Mar 2008, 9:07, Reply)