Tales from travelling
A few schnit related tales from travelling (both in Thailand actually)

Mount Pooji
Staying in Phi Phi, I hadn’t laid a Bungles’ finger for about a week, while still consuming a vast quantity of green curry, rice and beer.

I was on the beach happily sunbathing when the gripes hit with supreme ferocity. Now our beach house was actually up a huge and steep flight of wooden steps. So I waddled over to the nearest beach-side café. Unfortunately, they only had a small squat toilet with no paper, which I knew wouldn’t suffice. Cue a mad crab-walk up the steps, me cursing repeatedly. I just managed to get to our little hut, burst through into the toilet, sat down (door still open) and proceeded to lay down the almightiest of shits I’ve even seen! It seemed I had actually emptied my entire colon in one sitting. The turd (which didn’t even break into two) was sticking well above the water line about an inch below the rim; it was about as thick as a coke can and dark black in colour.

I felt proud at my achievement, but slightly sad that no-one was around to share in the glory. I didn’t even have my camera on me to take a trophy picture.

The shit-laser
Another one from Thailand. I caught a nasty dose of Delhi-belly at the beginning of our stay in the land of the ladyboys. I thought I was over the worse and went to have a shower. I thought I’d risk a cheeky fart, but some of the wet stuff unfortunately came out too.

Here’s the lucky part. It came out with such ferocity, that it must have literally shot out in a straight line. It completely missed my board shorts and leg and just hit the floor in a little brown puddle. Even better, the shower and toilet where in a wet room, so no nasty mopping to be done. I was so happy, I even told the GF what had happened (much to her disgust and to my delight).
(Deskbound You insignificant speck of dust, Mon 31 Mar 2008, 10:23, Reply)