Pop!
Heard this story from my friend Scott, who went out one night with his wife. Shortly after arriving at the pub, his wife came out of the ladies' with one of her friends, chuckling, but retching at the same time. "You've got to have a look in there", she said, shoving him into the lavs. "Go on, it's in the second cubicle".

So in he went, and sure enough, on the floor of the second cubicle was a steaming mound of runny shit. It was also all over the walls, the toilet and the cistern. "It was like a horse had reversed into the cubicle and lifted its tail", he told me later.

It turns out that an elderly lady had emerged from the toilets some time earlier, and mentioned to her friend that she was going home because she'd "had a wee accident".

The 'wee accident' was actually that her colostomy bag had burst, apparently in the manner of a 50lb WWII bomb. But rather than telling anyone about it, or even making the attempt to clean up some of the mess, she just buggered off home.

The thing is, it wasn't like she was too embarrassed about it, because after going home to clean up and change her clothes, she came back again!

She's dead now, so at least it won't happen again.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 31 Mar 2008, 15:19, Reply)