Ahhh.....dogs
My girlfriend stayed over this weekend and brought her new puppy. It usually stays in the utility room at her house which is far away from her bedroom so you can't hear it whimper and moan at night. However at my house my room is just above the kitchen so we tried to make it sleep in there, but the noise was just too much to bear. So after about 30 mins of incessant whining I begrudgingly agreed to let it sleep in my room. I went down to fetch the dog and the first sign of disaster was surely when I stood in cold dog piss in my socks.
The night itself went off without a hitch and besides the dog climbing on my head several times and sticking it's cold nose in my arse crack while I was thrusting away on my girlfriend I was relatively happy.

Well until the morning anyway. I woke up to a stench so foul that Hitler himself would have shed a tear. Now my room isn't massive so locating the poo took all of 0.12 seconds and my blurry eyes were greated with quite a site. My disbelief at the disgusting smell was soon overtaken by a morbid fascination of a poo that looks for all intents and purposes like it had been deposited by a gorilla. It was huge!! A quick check of the dog revealed firstly that the that no damage was done during the evacuation of said poo and secondly that the dog was indeed still alive.

Once the smell had died down and the faeces was removed from my room my girlfriend and I were able to do our best Attenborough impressions while marvelling at the wonder of nature and pointing at the dogs stretchy arsehole.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Mon 31 Mar 2008, 17:27, Reply)