My time to shine!
Firstly, I thank you for this opportunity. Well, I've always been known for my infrequent and large poos. When I was about 14 I was marched to the doctors and told I had to pour some powder into water and drink that everyday. I got to choose from 2 flavours, orange or lemon, but the fact was little could be done to make constipation medecine taste any less awful than it sounds. First lot I had I threw up my spaghetti bolognase in the sink, it wasn't even partly digested so mother had a lovely time dealing with that situation.

Even better a situation to deal with was my submarine of a turd I dropped about 6 weeks ago. I've blocked the toilet for up to 3 weeks before, so when I depth charged the bog this time my father had had enough. So we went to what I can only imagine to be a pretty hardcore shop for supplies when dealing with a pretty hardcore situation; he left with a litre bottle of sulphuric acid.

First thing to note: It's a litre.
Second: You only need to use a bit.
Third: You have to dilute it.
Fourth: It's for clearing drain pipes.

Through the eyes of my father?

First: Fuck yeah I have loads of this shit.
Second: I can use fucking loads of this shit!
Third: I'm pouring it into water anyway so fuck this shit!
Fourth: Let's fucking nuke this shit!

He pours the whole bloody lot down the toilet in one go, buggers off downstairs to have a cup of tea then hears a very, very loud bang. They though it was the toilet seat falling down, turns out the litre of sulpuric acid did what it's mean to do and nuked the shit out of the toilet, literally. Lumps of poo on the floor, water everywhere and a nice big crack down the back of the bog.

The funniest thing was my mum shouting at me for it, she made it seem like it was my fault. I may have blocked it to buggery, but it's not my fault that my dad had to do that to it. That's the equivelant of getting a piece of sweetcorn stuck between your teeth and shoving a stick of dynamite in your mouth to get rid.

It was long :-)
(MunchMyBalloons, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 8:26, 2 replies)

eeerrgghh
Fibrogel or whatever it was called. I remember that, I had the orange flavour but it would always go grainy and yuk to swallow... bleghhh
(dragondracus, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 8:42, closed)

I just
LOL'ed so hard that my stomach hurts and I'm weeping a touch. Thanks.
(ProudClod, Wed 2 Apr 2008, 2:06, closed)