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This is a question Shit Stories: Part Number Two

As a regular service to our readers, we've been re-opening old questions.

Once again, we want to hear your stories of shit, poo and number twos. Go on - be filthier than last time.

(, Thu 27 Mar 2008, 14:57)
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Cyanide poisoning
Cyanide is nasty stuff. The CN group is found in many molecules, and in a good number of cases it is highly toxic, for example as hydrogen cyanide gas, or potassium cyanide salt.

Over the years, many antidotes and treatments have been recommended. In the UK, I believe the current advice for inhalation of the gas is just to give oxygen, but in the past one standard treatment for cyanide poisoning was the infamous "Solutions A and B".

Every chemical lab had these, if the scientists were using cyanide. Solutions A and B were ferrous sulphate in a citric acid solution, and an aqueous solution of sodium carbonate, respectively. Upon suspected ingestion of cyanide, equal quantities of A and B were mixed together and drunk quickly, the idea being that the cyanide would react with the solution and form a relatively harmless compound which would then pass through the body, assisted by the ingested chemical concoction, and without causing death in the process.

Anyway, a former colleague of mine told me about one of his contemporaries when he was doing his PhD studies. This fellow was of a nervous disposition, and he had listened intently to the safety briefings, although not intently enough. Cyanide has a distinctive almond odour*, so it's pretty obvious when you inhale it, but only ingestion of cyanides was supposed to be treated by the solution A and B method.

So our man was working in the lab one day, when he got a whiff of almonds. Panic ensued. He though he was going to die imminently, but he got his brain into gear and thought about what to do. "Ah, the A and B solutions!"

So he got the bottles, mixed them together, and drank the lot.

A whole litre.

The recommended dose was 100ml or something. I forget the exact figure, but 1 litre was way in excess of the recommendation.

The good news is that he didn't die of cyanide poisoning, (even though he'd actually not ingested it, and therefore taken the wrong treatment). The bad news though is that solutions A and B act as a strong laxative. Especially when you drink 10 times as much as is recommended.

He made it to the toilet cubicle. But not onto the toilet. Apparently he was just at the point of sitting down when his sphincter could resist no more, and unleashed a torrent of chemically enhanced shit everywhere.

Once he'd managed to clean himself up, he was made to clean up the toilet cubicle too. Unlucky!

*Cyanide also tastes almondy. There's a very small amount in apple pips. Eat one and you'll taste the almonds. That's cyanide, that is. Eat a whole cupful of apple pips and you might die.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 9:11, 1 reply)
Apple Pips as Murder Method
Used by Rob Grant in 'Incompetence' IIRC.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 10:16, closed)

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