Biggest poo ever
I don't really like pooing anywhere but in my own toilet

Many years ago I had to go into hospital for a non gastric related reason. While I was there I was hooked up to various drips and monitors. I couldn't bring myself to poo in a bedpan so I held it in. Once I was more mobile I still didn't want to go, wheeling the drip thing with me, so I held it in.

In all I spent 2 weeks in hospital and I ate reasonably well (as you can in hospital the food is terrible) and didn't void my bowel the whole time.

When I was discharged I went home and within seconds of sitting on my sofa the stirrings in my gut started. I needed to shit NOW!!

So I get to my bog and proceed to lay the biggest log of my life. It fucking hurt so much I had to bite down on the towel rail to prevent the neighbours calling the police. Having since witnessed child birth I now know it wasn't like having a baby but at the time I thought that's what it must be like.

But like child birth once the said jobbie had been laid it was beautiful to my eyes. I don't know how long it was because some of it was down the U bend but it must have been well over a foot long and the thickness of one of those large bottles of ketchup, it curved majestically out of the water standing proud of the water like the sword of Excalibur.

I nearly took it out to photograph it. But I had to flush it, but only after mashing it up with the handle of the bog brush. Poosoup!


Length & girth enough for anyone
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 12:46, Reply)