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This is a question Shoplifting

When I was young and impressionable and on holiday in France, I followed some friends into a sweet shop and we each stole something. I was so mortified by this, I returned them.

My lack of French hampered this somewhat - they had no idea why the small English boy wanted to add some chews to the open box, and saw it as an attempt by a nasty foreigner oik to contaminate their stock. Not my best day.

What have you lifted?

(, Thu 10 Jan 2008, 11:13)
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How G robbed a bank
Bank robbery is, in its way, similar to shoplifting. My erstwhile flatmate G, when a student, robbed a bank.

By this, I don't mean that he produced a gun and stole the money. He actually stole (a good part of) the bank.

One day, he was walking along the street when he noticed that the Alliance and Leicester was having a refit, part of which meant a new shopfront. Bits of shopfront were piled on the pavement. Later in the day, they were still there - apparently unguarded. I don't know whether they were bits of the old or new front. It really doesn't matter.

What does matter is that G, quite possibly a little worse for wear by this time of the day, had a brainwave. A brainwave that went somewhat along the lines of "I want that". A subsequent - and longer - brainwave went along the lines of "I am in a rugby team; Big George, the prop forward, would have to help me; I know Big George's phone number; and - Behold! - a phone box!"

Big George clearly thought that G's scheme was brilliant.

The result of all this was a living room full of "borrowed" bits of the Alliance and Leicester.

And that is how G robbed a bank.
(, Thu 10 Jan 2008, 11:39, closed)

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