kleptomania
Its a task looking after me. When I'm drunk little factors such as "ownership" and "theft" apparently don't mean very much. I'm like a small child or, perhaps, a caveman. Basically, I'll see something I like and try to take it. This has led to a collection of rubbish building in my student accomodation including;

about 50 beer mats
a beer glass
4 hats
an umbrella
a (now empty) bottle of vodka
a stack of newspapers
a stuffed parrot
a lamp

I've kept all of them except the stack of newspapers because even when you're drunk, a stack of newspapers can only be exciting for so long. I felt most guilty about the lamp when I passed the shop, spied it in there and discovered it was much more expensive than I'd thought.

Ridiculously, my friends stole an orange cone. You'd think that stealing conical pieces of plastic would not come very far up on the list of serious crimes. However, a full scale man hunt, or cone hunt, was launched by security to find the cone with a hefty fine for the culprit. This seems even MORE ridiculous when you know that some of the other students wrecked a set of fire extinguishers and stole all the furniture from the common room (two leather sofas and a leather armchair) and they were only told to return them.

Mad.
(ladyintheradiator, Thu 10 Jan 2008, 12:16, 6 replies)

...
The fine was not for stealing a cone per se. It was for unoriginality.

I am, officially, the only person this side of the Danube who has never stolen a traffic cone.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 10 Jan 2008, 12:24, closed)

No cone stealing either
Never nicked one and i've been a student for a LONG time. I almost feel i'm missing out :)
(The Ginger Penguin la la la la la la, Thu 10 Jan 2008, 12:56, closed)

I was a student for TWELVE years
And I never once stole a cone.


And before anyone asks, no I didn't fail any thing and have to resits and those entire 12 years were spent in three different universities.

Yes, I have more qualifications than is good for me...
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 10 Jan 2008, 14:05, closed)

Hehe
I'm trying to figure out how you steal a leather sofa. Do you just slip it into your jacket pocket when nobody's looking?
( JimM, Fri 11 Jan 2008, 0:24, closed)

Cones?
I've never STOLEN a cone. Repositioned a number so as to close a road, yes, but never actually STOLEN.
(Sammyhaswoefullyneglectedyou, Mon 14 Jan 2008, 16:14, closed)

Cones
I've never nicked a cone either, once tried climbing a lamp post and had a go at a couple of lads who put some massive plant pots in the middle of the road in Bath but that's it.
Perhaps I missed out as a student...
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 16:14, closed)