Fags from the pub.
Back in the day, I was staying at a mates house. The beauty of his house was the fact his mum had massive amounts of booze in her loft. Not sure why, but it all sat there, unopened and never touched. We took a bottle of Captain Morgans, and set to work on it.

About an hour later we had one empty bottle, two very drunk teens and..... no ciggies, NNOOOOOOOO.

Not a huge problem, we gathered all our money, saw we didn't have enough, topped it up with change from the change bottle, and set off for the sports club, with exactly the right amount of money- mostly in coppers- for a half ounce of golden vadge and a packet of skins.

Now my memory goes on the way to the sports club, but I do remember falling on an electric fence, and being so pissed I couldn't get off it, just leaned on it taking multiple shocks.

The next thing I knew it was the morning, I was in my mates house in an arm chair, half my clothes and half my head covered in mud.

I emptied my pockets, and had; one unopened packet of baccy, one packet of skins, all the money we had taken to buy said baccy and skins.

Now this was very confusing for two reasons, the first being that in the sports club they keep said products on the shelf behind the bar, the second, my mate could remember us arriving at the sports bar, and me going in for the baccy- he couldn't, as it was his village, and his mum would have found out he was smoking- then coming out with the baccy but sans skins, so going back in, and returning with both products.

Somehow I must have walked in, asked for the baccy, been given it and walked out without paying, then walked in a minute later, asked for skins, been given those, and walked out again with no money changing hands. It's the only way it could have happened.

We lost each other in darkened fields on the way home, I somehow got to his house and let myself in, to wake up half covered in mud the next morning. We never did smoke any of the baccy that night.

Later that week my mate was asked by the staff in the club if he knew a strange little Egyptian man...WTF. I'd love to see film footage of what happened the two times I was in there.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Thu 10 Jan 2008, 19:42, 1 reply)

like...
many a good evening, cctv should not exist!!!
(feedingtimeatthezoo day 1 of his bikini diet started, Fri 11 Jan 2008, 3:23, closed)