ShopliftingWhen I was young and impressionable and on holiday in France, I followed some friends into a sweet shop and we each stole something. I was so mortified by this, I returned them.
My lack of French hampered this somewhat - they had no idea why the small English boy wanted to add some chews to the open box, and saw it as an attempt by a nasty foreigner oik to contaminate their stock. Not my best day.
What have you lifted?
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chthonic, Thu 10 Jan 2008, 11:13)
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young daysI used to shoplift when I was a little one in primary school, I looked so inocent I got away with it. I stopped when my best friend got caught. Ever since I have been a good boy.
It all started when we were in year 5 in primary school. Me and my best friend befriended another lad who was a bit of a trouble maker. We went down to the garage one day after school with him to get sweets. I didn't have any money so I just looked around.
When we got out me and my best friend had not bought a find, however the other lad (I think his name was Kane, lets say it is) asked us if we could keep a secret. Yes we can, we replied. He proceeded to show us a bounty of sweets and crisp packets. Thus started my life of crime.
My technique involved picking up a mars bar or something, examining the label, then putting it down, loudly saying to my friend, ‘Oh! I can’t afford it’ before it reached the shelf I would let it slide down my sleeve of my jumper or coat. I had a close call once when I stepped in the store and there was no one on the till. I quickly grabbed something close by the door, only to have the employee slip quickly out of nowhere behind the till. I left before she could say anything but that wasn’t what stopped me.
My friend was more brash then me in his shoplifting ways. He even managed to steal a tube of Pringles, something involving putting them down his trousers… He got caught shoplifting in a different store from where I went. Caught shoplifting a packet of chocolate stars no less… No charges were pressed but it set me straight.
I would like to tell you young ones reading this not to shop lift, but you really do get such a rush from successfully stealing a packet of skittles. While you’re young and under 10, go for it. Your too young for them to do jack.
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spaceage, Fri 11 Jan 2008, 9:34,
2 replies)
I can see the hundreds of children who read this siterushing out of their houses in droves and clearing entire shopping centres thanks to your encouragement :D
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morrybyte made a subtle namechange at, Fri 11 Jan 2008, 9:43,
closed)
hopefullyall the young uns will be out stealing cars, tellys, road signs, etc...oh, they are already.
i fucking hate these cunting little bastards who make life a awkward for the rest of you lot there in englandland.
answer? beat the little shits senseless and brand their forehead with a massive 'T'.
(, Fri 11 Jan 2008, 10:26, closed)
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